my favourite story i like to tell about pakistan is from 6 years ago. i was visiting my dad's village in the mountains. as with most of the houses there there was only an ~eastern~ toilet, it had nothing really it was basically an outdoor toilet hut. this sucked because all you ever get told stories about are jinns and witches and tigers and hyenas roaming the village at night (not to mention 2271272 bugs) so i was trying to be as quick as possible. it also sucked because unfortunately for me i was on my period and had to dispose of something quite urgently and was sure that a hole in the ground toilet wouldn't be the best bin. in a place where these issues are even more taboo than here and women are supposed to be discreet and invisible i had to think quick. and i wasn't about to ask someone what to do. i noticed that there was only wilderness and overgrown shit outside of the little window. so i somehow found a little plastic bag, and, thinking it would be the least embarrassing solution, hid my shame inside it and flung it as far as i could. i didn't think about it as it was all i could do really and i didn't want to get possessed by a jinn/bitten by a snake/eaten by a tiger and i was leaving the next morning to go back to the city anyway. the next morning i was bored waiting for everyone to get their shit together so we could leave the house when i looked up and noticed a small plastic bag hanging from the top of a tree, directly in front of the house.
we went to a secluded cliff on the beach in aberdeen - got the vibe that it was the kind of place you went to partake in dogging. anyway when we got out of the car we heard really bangingly loud hardstyle and hard house. it was like 2pm on a sunday and sooooo so windy and cold and this guy had brought CDJs, a mixer, a generator and a soundsystem and found a makeshift dj booth in the ruins of a castle or something... all for about three or four of his friends - omg. wtf!! he was deep in the mix the whole time as well. b a d m a n!! i wonder if the rest of the UK is having this much fun without me?